How to Plan a Good BDSM Scene

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BDSM can allow you to explore your imagination and broaden your limits to their maximum. If you fantasize about being degraded like a little slut by your Dom daddy or wish to dominate your worthless slave yourself, you should note that this is not as simple as you may think. The perfect BDSM scene requires consent, communication, safety, proper aftercare, and many other elements. So keep reading to learn how to plan a good BDSM scene successfully!

What Are the Tools or Equipment Needed?

Firstly, equipment, toys, and accessories are an essential element of any BDSM scene. There are many types of BDSM gear, and you should always consider their relevance for the scenario you are planning.

Before you plan your scene, it will be useful to make an equipment checklist. Before you order some monster dildos and brutal torture machines, you should first consider the safety gear.

When it comes to safety gear, the most important things you’ll need are scissors, safety tapes, medical gloves, etc. Also, don’t forget the backup keys for any equipment with locks. Plus, always keep a few medical supplies around. That includes ointments, sanitizers, antiseptics, and band-aids. It may be obvious, but don’t neglect to stock up on water and snacks!

Then, you should consider the punishment tools. That could include floggers, cuffs, and ropes. It could also involve paddles, restraints, gags, blindfolds, and more. You can get some costumes or latex suits for your slave and think about any BDSM furniture that you may need.

Lastly, order some sex toys and lubricants. You can choose anything from chastity devices, prostate massagers, and nipple clamps to pussy pumps. Don’t forget the butt plugs, inflatable dildos, fucking machines, and whatever else that you may enjoy!

What Are the Activities?

Before any sort of scene with your partner, you should make a BDSM plan or a formal agreement that will allow both sides to cover the dos and don’ts thoroughly. It will also help you to establish any boundaries clearly and define the activities in detail.

It’s essential to do some research and learn what BDSM is all about. You can practice all sorts of activities. That includes D/s play, bondage, role-play, and many more. Popular BDSM kinks involve caning, collaring, cupping, anal play, fisting, medical play, sadomasochism, consensual nonconsent, chastity fetishes, etc. In any case, all BDSM activities will require full consent. They should be agreed upon beforehand.

You should never attempt anything that your partner hasn’t approved of previously. If you break this rule, you will also shatter your partner’s trust. That will ruin the scene for both of you. Besides that, it may lead to physical or emotional harm. Remember that BDSM scenes can be intense, degrading, painful, and very unusual. However, that doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get permission to use and abuse your partner in any way you please.

If you establish proper consent and respect your partner’s boundaries, you can safely try all sorts of BDSM activities. This rule applies to both the Dom and the sub. After that, you can experiment safely and have fun without any risks. For instance, you can explore all sorts of roles. That includes Daddy/little girl, Dominatrix/male slave, Owner/pet, etc. You can try role reversal, pegging, ruined orgasms, body worship, suspension bondage, anal training, etc.

Safewords

The best way to control your BDSM scene is to use safewords. Before a session, you should define them clearly. The sub and the Dom should agree on one or more. These words can put a halt on any activity.

Remember that even if you agree to various activities in advance, that doesn’t mean that they will feel safe or that you will like them. A safeword or even a signal can warn your partner. It can show them that they are crossing the line. What’s more, this boundary doesn’t have to be physical. As mentioned, if you feel any sort of emotional trauma, the safeword will stop the scene. You can stop at any point and simply start the scene up again after a break.

Typically, you can use straightforward examples like “stop” or “no.” It’s also common to use the traffic light method. In this case, your partner will stop if you say “red.” Conversely, “green” will let them know that you love it. You can use “orange” to tell your Dom to slow down.

In some cases, it’s possible to eliminate these words. That is common with scenes involving consensual nonconsent. In these activities, abandoning safewords is an act of consent. It is only possible if the sub allows it.

Timeline

So far, we’ve advised you to set up a scene plan with a list of equipment and activities. However, the next thing that you should do is establish a timeline for your session. That is incredibly useful as it will define the activities clearly. Plus, it will allow you to keep track of time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should write and remember a complete, award-worthy script for your doctor/patient scene or whatnot. You can simply note down the order of the activities and stick to it. First, decide on the theme and then plan out the kinks from beginning to end.

What’s more, timing the activities is recommended for Doms. It allows them to take it easy and not finish the scene too quickly. It’s also a good idea to use a timer if you are training a sub.

Types of Aftercare

Finally, any BDSM activity should include aftercare. You should define it in your BDSM agreement or scene plan.

In general, aftercare can allow both partners to return to the normal state after an intense session. There are various kinds of BDSM aftercare, from physical to emotional. All of them will help you make sure your sub is feeling fine. They can eliminate the possibility of the fabled sub drop.

Some examples include cuddling or watching movies after the scene. You could also take a relaxing bath or give your partner a massage. It’s also advisable to observe any wounds during the aftercare and tend to them. Moreover, aftercare could involve a lot of communication. By talking about your session, you will be able to improve any future scene!

Summary

It won’t be too difficult to follow the steps we’ve outlined above. Yet, our tips will allow you to set up a kinky and unforgettable BDSM scene. So now it’s time to stock up on all sorts of BDSM equipment and have fun!

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