What does it take to become the ultimate submissive for your Dom? Should you strictly follow orders like a good little slut and allow them to use you in any way they see fit? Or is it a bit more complicated than that? If you need some training, keep reading!
What Does Being Submissive Mean?
Firstly, being submissive is not just about following orders, pleasing others, or getting tortured by your cruel master. It can mean many things. All of that depends on the individual relationship.
You’ll find a set of common traits in almost any Dominant/submissive or relationships. These cover a wide variety of subcategories, top — Daddy Dom/Little Girl, Owner/Pet, and the standard Master/Slave dynamic.
The Submissive Role
In BDSM, you’ll see all sorts of fetish plays and kinks that encompass discipline, bondage, masochism, and sadism. To enact various BDSM scenes successfully, people will engage in different roles. Some will want to lead and will take on the Dom role. Others will choose to receive and become submissive.
Furthermore, it’s crucial to understand that being submissive in bed is never about getting abused against your will. BDSM is always consensual. It requires trust between all parties involved. To become a good submissive, you have to willingly surrender your power to the Dom. That way, both of you can actively work towards a dynamic of devotion and obedience.
That means that clear individual needs guide the best subs because they have an excellent understanding of their boundaries. Plus, they use active communication to express their limits and desires to the Dom.
However, in this type of play, both roles will serve each other. It is all reciprocal, and each partner will have their own kind of control. The submissive consciously puts themselves in a risky position and accepts to please their Dom and always meet their demands. That way, the sub willingly serves their master. A good Dom will accept this servitude as one of the sub’s loveliest, most valuable gifts.
Is Being a Submissive Normal?
BDSM fantasies are completely normal and healthy. If you think about it, our relationships are largely about power exchange and Dom or sub roles. However, when those dynamics blend with sexual fantasies, many social stigmas can be attached to them. See Buzzfeed’s list of BDSM Fantasies.
Nevertheless, many believe that BDSM relationships are unnatural and fail to understand that they are a kink for consenting adults. Submissive and dominant men or women are usually happy and willing to explore their roles to gain more pleasure and experience and deepen their relationships. They can try all sorts of fetishes and activities that they are curious about. That is not very different from people who are interested in experimenting with different sex positions or various naughty fantasies.
Why It’s Healthy
Submissive and dominant roles offer balance, security, and tranquility. They can encompass anything from sexual to non-sexual activities. They are natural if performed with consent.
A common misconception with BDSM is that people use it to combat their psychological and relationship issues. That also includes any past abuse and lack of security. However, multiple studies have found no link between mental problems and submissive sex.
On the contrary, research has shown that the BDSM lifestyle actually has many benefits. For example, it can lead to higher self-esteem, greater control over your experiences, and high levels of openness. And when it comes to submissives, you should know that your preference doesn’t make you weak or worthless. It’s actually quite an empowering role. It allows you to let go of control on your terms.
All in all, it’s quite healthy to take on both the sub and Dom roles. It’s a new type of sexual expression that can benefit people of various ages and sexual orientations. What’s more, it’s a highly effective kind of emotional and sexual release. Read more about sexual health.
Things to Do and Remember to Become a Better Submissive
So what should you do to become the ultimate submissive slut? Well, the only way to truly start is to consider your connection with your partner. You should only offer your mind and body to someone you trust. You’ll have to consider your limits, desires, safe words, and approach it step by step.
If your Dom disregards your wishes and your safe words, it may be time to reconsider your bond. That can not only break your trust in them but also lead to painful and degrading situations.
Generally, as a sub, you should know that your role isn’t passive. While you should follow your Dom’s orders, you’ll be the best sub if you do so actively and generously. Always set up a blueprint and discuss your terms with your Dom. As mentioned, you should consider your boundaries. Yet, you should also be open and listen to your Dom’s desires too.
With proper communication, you can outline a contract. You will be able to stick to it during each session or in the long term. And when it comes to your service, try to obey the rules. You should also accept any punishment that you’ve agreed upon and take pleasure in.
Moreover, you can also try to enhance your experience with pet names, props, accessories, and sex toys. Remember, BDSM play can get as innocent or as dirty as you desire. You can be your Dom’s property, slave, pet, patient, secretary, or anything else.
Remember, your primary mission will be to please your master or mistress. However, that doesn’t mean that your Dom should treat you like trash. Your relationship should contain mutual respect, and you should also respect yourself. That way, you will not harm your physical or emotional health.
All in all, BDSM can expand your limits and improve your sex life. Hopefully, our article has taught you to take your submission to the next level. So start training today and good luck!