Vanilla Sex Is Not Boring and You Should Not Be Ashamed of It

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When you’ve been a part of the BDSM community for so long, it’s natural you’ll want to take a break. That kind of lifestyle isn’t fit for everyone. Or not everyone can keep up with it for a long time, that is.

Here’s why you should try vanilla sex and feel absolutely no shame about it.

What Is Vanilla Sex?

The concept of vanilla sex is used to shame people nowadays. It seems that you have to be kinky to a certain level. Otherwise, people start pointing fingers. Don’t listen to what they’re saying. We all enjoy some vanilla sex behind closed doors.

Vanilla sex is just “normal” sex that doesn’t include any BDSM behavior, for those unfamiliar with the term. But we’re not just talking about doing it missionary until orgasm or switching positions one or two times. It’s, in short, any kind of sex non-BDSM lovers practice.

We understand that there can be a lot of shame within the BDSM community when it comes to having vanilla sex. People seem to think that being in a BDSM relationship means you can’t enjoy any other activity. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

All kinksters can enjoy vanilla sex. Not only that, but it helps you get a little break from all the kinky business you’ve been a part of. It might not be something up your alley, but you should give it a try, especially if sex kinks and fetishes are all you’ve ever known. It will benefit you a lot.

The Benefits of Doing Vanilla Sex

If you weren’t already aware, enjoying ‘normal’ sex has a lot of benefits. First of all, kinks aren’t included. Kinky thoughts are going out of the window so that you can focus on other things.

Let us look at only some of the benefits you can reap from this kind of sexual activity.

1. Focusing on Other Things

When you’re doing BDSM scenes, there’re a lot of things to pay attention to. Of course, depending on the scene. However, you need to focus on role-playing, inflicting just the right amount of pain, the sex toys you use, the power exchange, etc. The list goes on and on.

With vanilla sex, that’s not the case at all. All you’ll need to focus on is both sides reaching an orgasm. You’ll be able to pay attention to your partner’s needs and enjoy the moment. Nothing needs to be pre-planned, because everything you’re doing is entirely safe.

2. It’s Intimate and Comfortable

We’re not saying that you can’t connect to your partner during the BDSM plays, but vanilla sex helps create a whole different kind of connection. There’s no whips, chains, or ropes involved. You can do it wherever you please, but let’s assume you’re doing it on the bed.

We’re not talking about a sturdy bondage bed. We’re talking about your soft, cushion-filled, sleeping bed. There are silky sheets involved, and the whole experience is extremely sensual. You can still exchange some power in switching positions, but it doesn’t go any further than that. So, find the time to try and enjoy it.

3. It Takes a Lot Less Effort

Sexual practices within the BDSM world take a lot of effort. First of all, a lot of planning and talking goes into every scene. Not a lot happens spontaneously. That’s understandable, though, because safety should come first.

With vanilla sex, it all just happens naturally. It’s completely safe, and nothing potentially traumatizing can occur to anyone included. Do you know what that means? No need for a special kind of aftercare. Sure, cuddling after sex is incredible, and you can consider that aftercare so that you don’t stray too far away from the BDSM world. All in all, you need little effort to have vanilla sex.

How Does Vanilla Sex Help in Having a Better BDSM Experience?

We’re sure you have a long list of kinks that have nothing to do with vanilla sex. However, the “conservative” way of having sex can help enhance those kinks even more. How does that happen? It’s all about the connection.

We’ve learned that vanilla sex helps you connect with your partner in a whole different way. In doing so, you’re improving your communication skills. Talking is very important in BDSM because many things have to be discussed beforehand. If you find that you’re lacking communication skills, have some spontaneous sex instead.

You and your partner will be able to communicate what you like or don’t like. There’s no Dom/sub play involved where one person isn’t allowed to speak or come. This is a free way of having sex, without any restraints.

Once you have mastered the art of spontaneous vanilla sex, you’ll be ready to turn it up a notch. In fact, we suggest you start with vanilla before you go into BDSM. That way, you’ll get to know your partner better and see what they like. It’s essential to take things one step at the time.

Not only that, but it’s important to take a break from all the BDSMing. It can take a toll on both your mind and body. Wouldn’t you agree that vanilla sex is the perfect way to let go? We certainly think so.

There’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t try it out if you haven’t already. Don’t pay attention to what people say. In fact, they don’t have to know anything about your sex life because it’s personal and happens between you and your partner. Or any third party, if you choose to involve them.


All in all, vanilla sex truly isn’t dull. There are a lot of different ways to go about having it. There are various positions you can try. Sure, you can keep some elements of BDSM like spanking or hair-pulling. Those are vanilla-ish, right? At least that’s what people think.

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